I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an action movie legend. But, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.

The Story and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who masquerades as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. For much of the film's runtime, the procedural element functions as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to share adorable scenes with children. Arguably the most famous belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and informs the former bodybuilder, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold deadpans, “Thank you for that information.”

The boy behind the line was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role included a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects in development. Furthermore, he is a regular on the con circuit. Recently recalled his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.

Memories from the Set

Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're snapshots. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would bring me to auditions. Often it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and that's all. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, once I learned to read, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was nice, which I guess isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because I was told, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he was available. He was working hard, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a authentic coach's whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being positive?

You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the legendary director, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Infamous Moment

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given an exception in this case because it was humorous.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it was conceived, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they worked on it while filming and, reportedly someone in charge came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took some time. She really wrestled with it. She said she wasn't sure, but she felt it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.